Surviving Hard-Headed, Old-School Men: A Guide to Sanity

 

How to Cope with the Ignorant

A special kind of endurance is required when living with men who operate on ancient logic, refuse to admit defeat, and still believe they know more than Google. If you’ve ever watched in horror as an old-school hardhead confidently bypasses every instruction manual, only to almost burn the house down, this one’s for you.

The Art of Stubbornness

The hard-headed man lives by a few sacred rules:

1. If it worked 40 years ago, it still works now. (Even if it objectively does not.)
2. Admitting fault is worse than defeat in battle. Even when caught red-handed.
3. If you ignore a problem long enough, it ceases to exist. Example: “That leak? It’s fine. Water finds its way.”

I’ve watched these men argue against basic physics, refuse doctor’s advice, and question why things need to be different. And yet, somehow, in their maddening logic, they do make some sense.

The Unsolicited Parenting Advice

If you’re raising kids around hard-headed men, congratulations, you now have an unsolicited co-parent.

They believe:

• Kids need more discipline, and by that, they mean the kind they got as children (which would now get someone arrested).
• “Back in my day, we didn’t have anxiety.” (Sure, Grandpa, you just repressed it until it manifested as back pain at 40.)
• Technology is ruining everything. (Yet they’re using it for sites that are frowned upon.)
• Kids are too soft and need to learn “the hard way.”

And somehow, despite your best efforts, they still manage to overrule you. Whether it’s sneaking candy or soda to your toddler five minutes before bedtime, rewriting your rules mid-sentence, or just shaking their head like you have no idea what you’re doing.

How to Survive It

1. Pretend they didn’t say that. (Selective hearing is a lifesaver.)
2. Redirect with a compliment. (“Wow, your parenting is SO effective")
3. Let them feel like they won. (They need this. Their ego depends on it.)
4. Hold your ground. Because at the end of the day, your kids are your responsibility, not a nostalgic experiment in tough love.
   
   

The Unexpected Wisdom

For all their stubborn ways, these men have a knack for being right about things they should absolutely be wrong about. Like knowing exactly what’s wrong with the car based on a single sound. Or being able to grill the perfect steak using nothing but instinct and outdated knowledge.

More importantly, their refusal to change often stems from something deeper, experience, pride, and the fear of irrelevance. They’ve lived through eras of self-sufficiency, trial and error, and moments where knowing your stuff actually mattered.

How We Survive It

1. Selective hearing👂 (again). (Pretending not to hear their nonsense works wonders.)
2. Reverse psychology.🧠 (Convince them an idea was theirs, and they’ll champion it immediately.)
3. Let them win sometimes. 🏆(It costs you nothing to nod along when they insist “That’s not how you clean a stove,” even though it is.)
4. Find the humor. 😂At some point, you have to laugh. (Until it becomes too much)

Because in the end, these men, despite their maddening ways, are part of what keeps life interesting. Their old-school grit, their love buried beneath their resistance, and their ability to survive despite their own habits make them unforgettable.

What’s the funniest hard-headed moment you’ve ever witnessed?

Drop it below, I bet you’ve got some good ones.⬇️

Caring for Grandpa: Navigating Regret, Resilience, and the Riches of Family

back in 2019, at our wedding, when he was still on his own

Introduction: Setting the Stage

Living in Grandpa’s home has been a whirlwind of lessons and realizations. At 85, he’s nearly blind and relies heavily on us. In early 2024 he unfortunately lost eyesight in his left eye due to a severe infection and had to have his eyeball removed. But here’s the catch: Grandpa isn’t your typical elder brimming with wisdom and warmth. He’s stubborn, grouchy, and carries the weight of a lifetime of regrets he’s too proud to admit.

As the granddaughter-in-law, I often find myself stepping into the role of peacemaker. His 3 kids—despite having every reason to walk away—never quite let go of him. They’ve stayed connected, showing a level of forgiveness and resilience that continues to inspire me. And so, here we are, navigating the chaos and contradictions of living in his home while caring for the man who sometimes seems determined to push people away.

Living Under His Roof: The Legacy and the Layers

Grandpa’s home is a reflection of his life—sprawling, a little disorganized, and full of stories that don’t always have happy endings. Managing the property feels like a balancing act between keeping things the way he like it and keeping things functional for our family.

Some days, it feels like we’re part of his kingdom, tasked with ensuring his wealth isn’t squandered while tiptoeing around his fiery moods. Other days, it feels like an emotional minefield—one misstep, and Grandpa is grumbling about how someone left a light on. Yet amidst the grouchiness, there are glimmers of vulnerability, moments where his regrets peek through, and I can see the man beneath the stubbornness.

The Caregiving Reality: Finding Meaning in the Mess

Caring for Grandpa is equal parts exhausting and enlightening. It’s in the small, everyday moments—guiding him to the kitchen, reading his financial statements aloud (while he critiques every number), his stories about childhood abandonment, and sitting with him as he reminisces about the “good old days” with a mix of nostalgia and bitterness.

There are days when his frustration boils over, and I feel like I’m running on fumes, trying to keep the peace. But then there are the unexpected moments of connection—like the rare times he smiles watching our kids play, or when he shares a nugget of wisdom that reminds me why his children stayed loyal despite everything.

Here is Grandpa enjoying the limited time he has left operating his favorite tractor. The kids love watching him 🥰

Here's Grandpa getting his haircut. He loves to have a clean cut.

Lessons from Grandpa: Regret, Love, and the Power of Showing Up

If I’ve learned anything from Grandpa, it’s that love is complicated. He’s a man shaped by his mistakes and his pride, yet somehow, his family continues to show up for him. His kids have taught me the value of forgiveness and the strength it takes to keep the door open, even when someone hasn’t earned it.

And for me? I’ve learned patience in ways I never thought possible. I’ve learned that caring for someone doesn’t mean fixing them—it means being there, even when it’s hard, even when they’re grouchy, even when you don’t know what to say. This is all too relatable since I grew up without a father being present.

 Moving Forward

Grandpa isn’t just a man we care for—he’s a reminder of the complexities of family. His regrets and stubbornness don’t define him; they’re just part of his story, a story that’s now intertwined with ours. Living in his home has taught us to find meaning in the mess, resilience in the face of frustration, and gratitude for the moments of connection amidst the chaos.

If you’re caring for someone like Grandpa—a little stubborn, a little grouchy, a little humorous but still loved—I hope you find the beauty in the contradictions, just as we have.

Have a caregiving story? We would love to hear it! Comment Below  ⬇️

Navigating My Own Path

 Finding What I Want to Write About   

 Hi, my name is Ruthie! Welcome to my blogging journey. To this day, I still don’t know what "I want to be when I grow up." I used to think I had it all figured out. I started out as a housekeeper in a nursing home, then worked as a CNA, confident that I would continue my education to be a nurse. The compliments I received made me feel like I was doing what I was meant to do.

 But then life threw me a curveball: two kids, childcare costs skyrocketing, and an economic system that seems to punish those trying to get ahead. How do you justify paying someone else to raise your children, while you work just to cover the cost of paying them? It never added up for us. So, I became a stay-at-home mom and gave up more than I could have imagined—my financial, social, and mental freedom. 

I’ve been working since I was 13 years old, so stepping into this new role wasn’t easy at first. But as much as I struggled to adjust, I’ve discovered just how hard—and rewarding—it is to be a stay-at-home mom, wife, and caregiver all rolled into one. 

So, I figured, hmmm, maybe I should write about all these treasured, rewarding moments I’m learning about—because even in the chaos, there’s so much worth celebrating. And maybe, one day, my children will have something of value to reminisce on, a record of the love and effort that shaped these moments.💗

What Do I Say?

I’ve always known I have stories to tell, but deciding which story to focus on felt impossible. As I juggled the chaos of family life and caregiving, I kept asking myself: "What do I really want to say?" 🤔

Then, one late night, running on fumes after a long day filled with siblings fighting, caregiving responsibilities, and grasping for just a moment of peace, I found myself standing in the kitchen watching the beautiful chaos unfold around me, and it hit me....this is it. This is what I want to write about! Not the polished, picture-perfect version of life we see on social media, but the raw, messy, and heartfelt moments that make life truly meaningful.

Prime Examples of the Messy Moments

• The kids having too much screen time, but it helps you get things done in peace 😔
• Four cats fighting and the dog breaking it up, causing a raucous
• Grandpa asking me to heat up his dinner plate again because it cooled off too fast.
• My husband walks through the door after a long day at work, only to hear the kids arguing/ not listening, I instantly notice his frustration.
• Looking out the window and seeing that a chicken or turkey escaped the run again 🙄

The answer wasn’t in trying to find perfection—it was hidden in the everyday chaos, in the layers of love and struggle that fill my world. I realized that my journey, with all its imperfections, was exactly what I wanted to explore. ✅

Through this blog, I hope to show others that it’s okay to embrace the chaos, because that’s where the beauty lies—in the space between the moments of challenge and joy.

This is my way of navigating life’s layers, and I hope it inspires you to do the same. Let’s dive into this messy, wonderful adventure together.

What would you be interested in hearing more about? 

Comment below👇

💟Also, don't forget to check out my other new posts. 💟

Thank you!😁